With Apologies to NPR...

This I Believe.

I believe in proportion, one scoop of coffee to two cups of water,
And that coffee is better at waking you up than alcohol is at relaxing you,
And that either can rob you of a good night's sleep.

I believe in turning problems over to God,
Even though I doubt he exists, and
That He will help me, although
He has the same doubts about me.

I believe that running uphill is good training for running uphill,
And something very similar about running hard on quarter mile tracks.

You can probably guess what I believe about lifting heavy objects in the gym.

I believe that people who say they believe that money can't buy happiness
Should subject that belief to an honest test;
Send me your money and let me try, while your try without it;
Let's see who has more success.

I am willing to set up a special research account for this purpose.

I believe that this is a good time to buy telecom stocks, but I no longer believe
That Cisco will make me rich.

(Back to the money/happiness thing: For the right sum,
I am even willing to write the results up
For submission to a peer reviewed journal, which, believe me,
Is a lot of work.)

I believe that true love is worth the wait, unless you happen to be waiting,
In which case the temptation to lie to yourself is irresistable;
Then heaven help you both.

I believe in the Now, in Life on Life's Terms, in Just for Today
Though last week, when I wasn't sleeping well (too much caffeine, I think)
These beliefs were impossible.

I believe that for a list poem to be of any value, it has to go on a little bit too long.

I believe that I may not know what my most important beliefs are until I stop believing them,
After which I'll be too despondent, enlightened, or dead to accept that they matter.

But I believe in belief: the clear ice
Of my teenaged certitude that doubt
Was the answer, the only answer to the industrial cement walls
Of God, Religion, War;
That this shifting iceberg would be my fundament
For questioning everything and
Eventually, indeed, itself.